Those Smart Zombies that Make You Look Bad!

You know that you have bad luck when you confront a smart zombie. How these zombies gain their brain power is simple; once they eat over one thousand human brains it makes up for their stupidity. This is why all the juicy brainy scientists seem to die out, and we are left with farmers and their pitchforks to defend the human race.

Smart zombies are extremely clever and witty, and love to tell jokes about world domination, guts, and gore. All the newly born zombies (recently bitten) look up to the smart zombie. They look to him for answers about how to assort flowers by shape and color (Also where to place severed human heads to momentarily shock humans while the zombies do their sneak attack).

It is wise not to pick a fight with an intelligent zombie because you will only make a fool of yourself. As you try to pull the two finger poke in the eyes trick, the smart zombie will totally deny you by blocking it with his one hand placed in the middle of his eyes. Your confidence decreases as you say to yourself “Man, this zombie knows the Kung Fu move The Deadly Demon Slap!” As you say this to yourself, the zombie then pulls off an Explosive Hell Hammer. What’s an Explosive Hell Hammer you ask? Well… it’s when you leap in the air and you try to fall down in the cannonball position and land on your enemy’s head with your gluteus maximus.

Do you remember that smart gremlin from Gremlins 2? Well, a smart zombie is similar. They are sarcastic, pretentious, rotting flesh. When you see one, get away as soon as possible, and never try to match wits. You will only end up getting your brain eaten, and will increase the smart zombie’s intelligence (well, maybe you won’t).

Comments

Elvis Drinkmo said…

Land of the Dead turned out to be a real kick ass movie- much to my surprise because the ads didn't look too promising- but it was indeed comparable to Day, Dawn, and Night.

Cool blog. I love zombie movies.

December 14, 2005 7:12 pm

Elvis Drinkmo said…

One other thing you might be interested in: Marvel comics has launched a new series- Marvel Zombies where Spider Man, the Hulk, Captain America become zombies. I don't have a link but if you google Marvel Zombies I think you'll find it.

December 14, 2005 7:57 pm

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