The Zombie Times

The baseball bat is recognized along with several other blunt objects a traditional way of killing zombies. The best part about these hitting machines is that it is very hard to miss your target (unless you are Wendy Torrance in Kubrick’s The Shining ).Beating the living dead’s head in with a crowbar, or even a hockey stick, is a method that is still being practiced in zombie entertainment today. Using this method requires a large team along with you, all armed, in case you turn around the next corner and bite off more then you can chew. There are various results from trying to bash a zombie to death (well…deader) Results include, though are not limited to 1) “I totally worked that zombie and now my golf club is stuck in his head, and there is a zombie behind me gnawing on my shoulder” 2) “I can’t seem to even damage this zombie and I think he’s mocking me with his moaning insults”, and 3) “I swear I killed that exact zombie once before and I don’t think I was really meant for this wor

Zombies that can run are starting to put humans at a serious disadvantage. Running zombies are a greater threat then the slow (though consistently hard-working) ones. Humans can no longer simply take their time trying to blow zombies’ heads off with their over and under 12 gauge shotguns. With running zombies in the mix, all humans can do, ironically, is well…run. The zombie infestation will only spread more rapidly with this running technique that the zombies developed. This means humans will be facing zombies in greater numbers than those seen in classic zombie movies. Dawn of the Dead , directed by George A. Romero, demonstrated the power of the slow, moaning, how-the-hell-is-he-catching-up-to-me-when-I’m-motoring-on-a-scooter-I-found-by-the-abandoned-cardboard-factory zombie. They literally infest all of Philadelphia within weeks. The Dawn of the Dead remake has ravenous, bloodthirsty zombies that seem to never stop chasing their victims. Once this so called plague that re-animate

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