Skip to main content

Just Started

Hey There. I just started this blog, so I plan to be updating on a regular basis(or I hope so).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Handy Dandy Hitting Machines

The baseball bat is recognized along with several other blunt objects a traditional way of killing zombies. The best part about these hitting machines is that it is very hard to miss your target (unless you are Wendy Torrance in Kubrick’s The Shining ).Beating the living dead’s head in with a crowbar, or even a hockey stick, is a method that is still being practiced in zombie entertainment today. Using this method requires a large team along with you, all armed, in case you turn around the next corner and bite off more then you can chew. There are various results from trying to bash a zombie to death (well…deader) Results include, though are not limited to 1) “I totally worked that zombie and now my golf club is stuck in his head, and there is a zombie behind me gnawing on my shoulder” 2) “I can’t seem to even damage this zombie and I think he’s mocking me with his moaning insults”, and 3) “I swear I killed that exact zombie once before and I don’t think I was really meant for this wor
2 comments
Read more

ZOMBIE SNAKES!

Once the movie Snakes on a Plane was on the big screen, audiences and viewers couldn’t possibly think of a situation that could be worse. To me there is an obvious worst case scenario. Zombie snakes on a Plane…!!!! Zombie snakes break all rules of the zombie survival guide. They can creep into small places and their speed wouldn’t really be reduced to any significant measure. Also they don’t moan or leave hints of their whereabouts. Once snakes turn into the living dead, they are more relaxed and don’t have much taste for human flesh. They just have a taste for hurting you for no apparent reason, and I mean a snake bite to the eye….red swelling so much you can’t even see…throat getting itchy and starting to close off because unfortunately your allergic to snake bites as bad as some people are to bee stings…you catch my drift. A snake’s venom is a powerful weapon, but once zombified, that deadly power is enhance to turning its victims into mindless zombies. Also now people have a reaso
2 comments
Read more

A Modest Theory

Ever wonder where zombies come from? I do. I think I came up with a valid hypothesis. In a galaxy, far far away of course, superior beings of an alien race dumped these zombies on Earth. Perhaps it was trash day, or they just did not get along with the zombies, and decided that alien and zombie would both benefit in relocating zombies to Earth…ERRR. How inconsiderate not notifying us how to communicate with these zombies. If they at least taught us their dialect then we could ask politely to the living dead salesclerk currently nibbling (putting it lightly) on your finger to please stop. Instead we are forced to shoot them, and every now and then take pleasure in slaughtering them (I know you like it). I say we all write a petition to this alien race in taking their zombie horde back to their home world and give us something even cooler, like a human crossed with a giraffe, or teriyaki noodles the size of a two story house… Wait, how about a gun that shoots laser ketchup and mustard on
2 comments
Read more