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A Modest Theory


Ever wonder where zombies come from? I do. I think I came up with a valid hypothesis. In a galaxy, far far away of course, superior beings of an alien race dumped these zombies on Earth. Perhaps it was trash day, or they just did not get along with the zombies, and decided that alien and zombie would both benefit in relocating zombies to Earth…ERRR. How inconsiderate not notifying us how to communicate with these zombies. If they at least taught us their dialect then we could ask politely to the living dead salesclerk currently nibbling (putting it lightly) on your finger to please stop. Instead we are forced to shoot them, and every now and then take pleasure in slaughtering them (I know you like it). I say we all write a petition to this alien race in taking their zombie horde back to their home world and give us something even cooler, like a human crossed with a giraffe, or teriyaki noodles the size of a two story house…Wait, how about a gun that shoots laser ketchup and mustard on your hotdogs (which looks like neon radioactive mush). Anyways, back on topic. How do we mail this petition to these aliens? I was thinking of getting the Strong Man to use his mighty arms to throw the petition (that is hooked onto a boomerang) into space. Set at the right velocity and vector, the letter should be received in about…I don’t know… 102, 105 years I’d say. That’s the minimum years, so until then all we can do is try to survive so the aliens don’t feel that we stood them up. Be patient and this zombie problem will be sorted out in due time, then everything will be back to normal again.

Comments

The Rock Robot said…
But the laser ketchup still tastes like regular ketchup, right?
December 20, 2005 9:47 am
Travel Italy said…
In Italy, hookers are called zombies.
December 20, 2005 4:10 pm
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