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A word or two about zombies that can run...

Zombies that can run are starting to put humans at a serious disadvantage. Running zombies are a greater threat then the slow (though consistently hard-working) ones. Humans can no longer simply take their time trying to blow zombies’ heads off with their over and under 12 gauge shotguns. With running zombies in the mix, all humans can do, ironically, is well…run. The zombie infestation will only spread more rapidly with this running technique that the zombies developed. This means humans will be facing zombies in greater numbers than those seen in classic zombie movies.Dawn of the Dead, directed by George A. Romero, demonstrated the power of the slow, moaning, how-the-hell-is-he-catching-up-to-me-when-I’m-motoring-on-a-scooter-I-found-by-the-abandoned-cardboard-factory zombie. They literally infest all of Philadelphia within weeks. The Dawn of the Dead remake has ravenous, bloodthirsty zombies that seem to never stop chasing their victims. Once this so called plague that re-animates the human body was announced on the news, it took over a day for the rest of the city to be infested. These new fancy-pants zombies are on the verge to eliminating any human resistance. In fact, at this point, with the introduction of these track stars, I wouldn’t even bother trying to A) create a fort B) try to survive C) hope these zombies starve to death, or D) hope for some divine intervention. Imagine trying to sleep in some boarded up house hearing a bunch of moans outside your door. moooaaaaan. moooooooaaaaan. mmmooooaoao…SHUTUP! I guess that’s when you blast the latest Slipknot album and draw even more of the running dead to your fort strong hold. Do you notice how the zombies actually manage to be freakier during the day?! Why is this? Simple; because that is when you can see that there is over fifty-three thousand two-hundred and seven of them, and only one of you (with a shotgun…running low on shells). If one good thing comes from having running zombies…or as I like to call them, runnies, it is that humans will have to be more clever to overcome the zombie revolution. Now about those vomit slingin’ vampires…

Comments

Anonymous said…
good thorough review of "runnies". I have a question for you though mr. zombie expert. Do senior citizen zombies still use their canes?
November 30, 2005 9:08 pm
Anonymous said…
Hah, runnies. Classic.
December 01, 2005 1:07 pm
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