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Just Started

Hey There. I just started this blog, so I plan to be updating on a regular basis(or I hope so).

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Strange Zombie Occurrences

“The probability in this day of age for a zombie popping out from underneath your bed is very high,” says some doctor (or claimed to be a doctor) we found in some dark spooky alley way. He appears to have a Phd in zombietology, and has been in the field for over five years now, trying to get the worlds attention about crucial zombie information that humans have the right to know about. “Already I heard of five classified cases of zombies popping out from underneath children’s, newlyweds, and grandparent’s beds.” His expression goes dimmer as he also talks about how people never believe these stories when they hear or see them. “The majority of humans today have never seen a zombie before, and the ones that have seemed to always be shipped off to some sort of asylum. They are made to look like a bunch of loonies!” I did not get any more info from the doctor because the sound of police sirens at the next block forced the doctor to make a quick getaway. I decided to take matters into my o...
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A Modest Theory

Ever wonder where zombies come from? I do. I think I came up with a valid hypothesis. In a galaxy, far far away of course, superior beings of an alien race dumped these zombies on Earth. Perhaps it was trash day, or they just did not get along with the zombies, and decided that alien and zombie would both benefit in relocating zombies to Earth…ERRR. How inconsiderate not notifying us how to communicate with these zombies. If they at least taught us their dialect then we could ask politely to the living dead salesclerk currently nibbling (putting it lightly) on your finger to please stop. Instead we are forced to shoot them, and every now and then take pleasure in slaughtering them (I know you like it). I say we all write a petition to this alien race in taking their zombie horde back to their home world and give us something even cooler, like a human crossed with a giraffe, or teriyaki noodles the size of a two story house… Wait, how about a gun that shoots laser ketchup and mustard on...
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Most Frequent Asked Zombie Question...?

If a zombie infects you by their bite, is it curable? Yes it can be cured by two simple methods, though both very painful and just as deadly. The first method is immediately chainsaw the bitten limb before the little Ooobers spread through your body. Ooobers are the deadly germs within the zombie's teeth that act as a poison and turn you into a mindless zombie. They look like the Great Gazoo from the sixth season of the Flintstones . Also I remind you that it would suck if the zombie took a bite out of your jugular, and thinking decapitating yourself would save your skin. The Second method takes more guts than pain. Once a zombie bites you, you immediately bite the zombie back in the same place. The Ooobers that were transferred into you go back to the zombie. I recommend that this method is done with extreme caution. If there is an onslaught of zombies around you, I'm afraid that the only path you will walk is the zombie path. Also, they won't care if you're trying to ...
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