Skip to main content

ZOMBIE SNAKES!


Once the movie Snakes on a Plane was on the big screen, audiences and viewers couldn’t possibly think of a situation that could be worse. To me there is an obvious worst case scenario. Zombie snakes on a Plane…!!!!

Zombie snakes break all rules of the zombie survival guide. They can creep into small places and their speed wouldn’t really be reduced to any significant measure. Also they don’t moan or leave hints of their whereabouts. Once snakes turn into the living dead, they are more relaxed and don’t have much taste for human flesh. They just have a taste for hurting you for no apparent reason, and I mean a snake bite to the eye….red swelling so much you can’t even see…throat getting itchy and starting to close off because unfortunately your allergic to snake bites as bad as some people are to bee stings…you catch my drift. A snake’s venom is a powerful weapon, but once zombified, that deadly power is enhance to turning its victims into mindless zombies. Also now people have a reason to fear garter and corn snakes, whereas at one point they were considered the more, shall we say ‘Friendly’ snakes.

Now if confronted by an anaconda, or as I like to call them Zombaconda (a breed found in the strangler family of zombie snakes. Closely related to the squeezing me so tightly that my head will explode family), take comfort in knowing that once the life is squeezed out of you, you’ll be a zombie trapped in the belly of a snake. Now imagine the discomfort the Zombaconda will be in until you are fully digested.

Overall, in the movie people managed to survive. However, if it was zombie snakes, the probability of that is slim to none. Not only do you have to deal with zombie snakes, but with their re-animated human victims that will join the zombie horde and try to gobble down your insides. Anyways, that doesn’t sound soooo bad…

Comments

Anonymous said…
What a disturbing, and therefore offensive, thought.
January 19, 2007 9:25 pm
Anonymous said…
Thats what I taught when I watched that movie!
Zombies on a plane...
Awesome!!
March 12, 2007 3:13 am
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A word or two about zombies that can run...

Zombies that can run are starting to put humans at a serious disadvantage. Running zombies are a greater threat then the slow (though consistently hard-working) ones. Humans can no longer simply take their time trying to blow zombies’ heads off with their over and under 12 gauge shotguns. With running zombies in the mix, all humans can do, ironically, is well…run. The zombie infestation will only spread more rapidly with this running technique that the zombies developed. This means humans will be facing zombies in greater numbers than those seen in classic zombie movies. Dawn of the Dead , directed by George A. Romero, demonstrated the power of the slow, moaning, how-the-hell-is-he-catching-up-to-me-when-I’m-motoring-on-a-scooter-I-found-by-the-abandoned-cardboard-factory zombie. They literally infest all of Philadelphia within weeks. The Dawn of the Dead remake has ravenous, bloodthirsty zombies that seem to never stop chasing their victims. Once this so called plague that re-animate...
2 comments
Read more

Beware of the Zompiks!

People always believe that zombies will eat whatever they get their hands on (juicy melons, rump, a liver, or a pair of Kidneys). Yes they are frightening… but not as frightening as the real picky zombies. They are known as Zompiks. A regular zombie would eat your internal organs without even questioning the quality, but the Zompiks would never take a whiff of those internal organs unless they are salted for weeks then sprinkled with human eye flakes. How do they salt these human internal organs? Well you have a net that is floating on top of the ocean water marinating raw meat with sea salt. Once both sides of the bloody mess have the sea salt on them, the Zompiks will use their mindless zombie slaves to pull the net in onto the shore and let the internal organs dry within the sunbeams. It’s a simple method and the zombie slaves are awarded with the left over human limbs, because the Zompiks believe the limbs are eaten by the more unintelligent zombies. Some times the Zompiks eat the ...
1 comment
Read more