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Those Smart Zombies that Make You Look Bad!

You know that you have bad luck when you confront a smart zombie. How these zombies gain their brain power is simple; once they eat over one thousand human brains it makes up for their stupidity. This is why all the juicy brainy scientists seem to die out, and we are left with farmers and their pitchforks to defend the human race. Smart zombies are extremely clever and witty, and love to tell jokes about world domination, guts, and gore. All the newly born zombies (recently bitten) look up to the smart zombie. They look to him for answers about how to assort flowers by shape and color (Also where to place severed human heads to momentarily shock humans while the zombies do their sneak attack). It is wise not to pick a fight with an intelligent zombie because you will only make a fool of yourself. As you try to pull the two finger poke in the eyes trick, the smart zombie will totally deny you by blocking it with his one hand placed in the middle of his eyes. Your confidence decreases as...
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ZOMBIE SNAKES!

Once the movie Snakes on a Plane was on the big screen, audiences and viewers couldn’t possibly think of a situation that could be worse. To me there is an obvious worst case scenario. Zombie snakes on a Plane…!!!! Zombie snakes break all rules of the zombie survival guide. They can creep into small places and their speed wouldn’t really be reduced to any significant measure. Also they don’t moan or leave hints of their whereabouts. Once snakes turn into the living dead, they are more relaxed and don’t have much taste for human flesh. They just have a taste for hurting you for no apparent reason, and I mean a snake bite to the eye….red swelling so much you can’t even see…throat getting itchy and starting to close off because unfortunately your allergic to snake bites as bad as some people are to bee stings…you catch my drift. A snake’s venom is a powerful weapon, but once zombified, that deadly power is enhance to turning its victims into mindless zombies. Also now people have a reaso...
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Most Frequent Asked Zombie Question...?

If a zombie infects you by their bite, is it curable? Yes it can be cured by two simple methods, though both very painful and just as deadly. The first method is immediately chainsaw the bitten limb before the little Ooobers spread through your body. Ooobers are the deadly germs within the zombie's teeth that act as a poison and turn you into a mindless zombie. They look like the Great Gazoo from the sixth season of the Flintstones . Also I remind you that it would suck if the zombie took a bite out of your jugular, and thinking decapitating yourself would save your skin. The Second method takes more guts than pain. Once a zombie bites you, you immediately bite the zombie back in the same place. The Ooobers that were transferred into you go back to the zombie. I recommend that this method is done with extreme caution. If there is an onslaught of zombies around you, I'm afraid that the only path you will walk is the zombie path. Also, they won't care if you're trying to ...
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